One of the most common question I get asked is “How did triplets happen?” or “are they natural?”. What a complicated question! Future moms of multiples, be ready to answer invasive questions about your conception on a daily basis from complete strangers. You will hear “Do twins run in your family?” and “were they natural?” (a round-about way to ask if you did IVF) one million times each day. Here’s how my trio happened:
My husband, Derek, and I decided to start “trying” in 2015 once we felt like we were ready… or at least when we came to our senses that nobody is ever really “ready” to start procreating. We were living like the modern-day Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald. Work was going well and we didn’t have a care in the world. We worked hard during the week and spent our weekends fishing or out partying with friends.
Then we started doing the math: “I’m 30, we want to have 2-3 kids, we want to have them around 2 years apart, and it could take a while to get pregnant”. Since, in the reproductive world, you are considered old at 35, I suddenly felt like I was running out of baby-making time. Even if I got pregnant right away, that would mean I would be around 36 (high-risk, late maternal age) when we would be starting to try for the third. Most likely, we would have decided to stop at two children. We would have simply run out of time. How did this happen?
My husband was a corporate dentist and also had plans of buying his own private practice in the near future. I had just finished Dental Hygiene school. Alright! Operation Espino Baby #1 was underway! I immediately made an appointment with my OBGYN to make sure all of my lady parts were okay and ready for conception, even though I am good about going to my yearly exams. I got every type of stick I could pee on, apps to help track my cycle, and (duh) my first copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It was so fun!
Until it wasn’t. Every month I would think “this could be the month!” just to have that heartbreak set in when no lines, faint or otherwise, appeared in the test window. All of my adult life, my body has been very irregular. Doctors have speculated that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) since I was a teenager, although I never had it officially tested and diagnosed. I realized after a year of trying that maybe I wasn’t ovulating…at all.
From there, my husband had his swimmers tested and I had my tubes tested and everything looked good! The next step: an oral medication that stimulates ovulation called Clomid. Now, while fraternal twins do run on both sides of my family (my dad is a fraternal twin as well as my mom’s mother) it was the Clomid that sent my eggs loose like Running of the Bulls in Spain. My doctor, as well as several online publications, told me that the chances of conceiving twins while on Clomid was between 5-8%, and the chances of triplets were less than 1%. After seeing the amount of fellow triplet moms that also conceived their trio on Clomid, I really think these statistics should be looked into maybe just one more time.
I had just completed the one month on Clomid when Derek had put an offer in on a private practice. We were ecstatic because we were just notified that the offer was accepted. I knew it was several days too early, but I decided to take a pregnancy test anyway… knowing that nothing could ruin my mood. Since I was probably going to see a big, fat negative result, at least I would have this good news to help get me over it again this month. I was shocked when that second line started to appear. I couldn’t believe my eyes! But it was too early for it to be positive! This can’t be right! (That should have been my first clue).
I frantically dug into the depths of my closet where I had hidden a Florida Gator onesie that I had purchased well over a year ago when we stared trying. I put it on the bathroom counter with the positive test on top of it. My husband exited the shower and saw it. It was a funny and wonderful moment. Two huge life milestones in one day: our new business and our new baby. We are one of the incredibly lucky ones that this medication worked for. So many others out there try for years and years. So much heartbreak, money, and tears. We are lucky.
I scheduled my first ultrasound at 9 or 10 weeks. My doctor immediately commented on how big I was (gee, doc,….thanks?) and after feeling my uterus said “you may have multiples in here”. But, after an ultrasound, we saw just one. One healthy baby. Every appointment after that, my doctor found a heartbeat on the Doppler and said “sounds perfect! See you in a month!”. At 19 weeks I saw the ultrasound tech to do the in-depth anatomy scan and we had planned to have them notify a local bakery of the sex instead of telling us. We planned to cut into a cake later that night to reveal the gender. My husband couldn’t take the day off from his new office so I went alone. The gel went on my belly and my excitement halted when I saw….heads.
Now, I am not a professional at reading ultrasounds, but from working in the medical field for a decade and a half, I understood anatomy enough to know what I was looking at. The tech said “you know you’re having multiples, right?”. I think all I could reply was “No….I mean….I’m really big for a first child and the doc wondered….but no….”. Then she started counting. “Here’s one…….here’s two…….here’s three…..”. I was praying to all that is holy that she didn’t continue counting. She spent about 30 minutes going around and making sure she was seeing everything correctly. It was the longest 30-ish minutes of my life. She said “do you still want the genders to be a secret?” and since both sexes were represented, I didn’t care as much. The surprise was no longer the sex of the baby, but the amount of babies.
… I saw… heads. Then she started counting. “Here’s one…….two…….here’s three…..”
I immediately went to my husband’s office, where I was also working, and told him the news. I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold it back all day while working with him. On the other hand, I also didn’t know if it was a good idea to tell somebody (and a Dentist somebody… drill-in-hand) that he is now a triplet dad. I’ve never seen skin go so pale that quickly. Once the news sank in, so did the absolute terror of what we were about to experience. So many questions. So many worries. Very little information. That is what led me here to start this blog. During and after my pregnancy, I’ve met hundreds of other moms of multiples through social media. Since things that work for singleton moms don’t work for multiples, we’ve had to be very creative in using what is out there and making it work for our needs. I so badly wish that I had access to that sort of information from the beginning. Therefor, I have started this blog so other moms of multiples can.